Who Am I?

Have you ever asked yourself that question and seriously pondered the answer? Sure, anyone can go with the easy answer, but really take some time and answer honestly. 

Here I will answer several questions that were posted on another blog site that I follow and I will answer then as best I can with much thought before my answer.

1. Who Am I?

I’m actually still trying to figure this one out. On the surface, I am of European decent (blue eyes and blonde hair gives that away, also my parents traced our genealogy and I know this to be fact), I have an age that is determined by the cycle of the Earth revolving around our sun, Sol (as a nerd I often say I am level 41). I am a unique one of billions of people existing on a small blue dot rotating around a son in a random quadrant of the Milky Way galaxy.

Between being raised in a religious family and having served in the military I developed a strong moral code; integrity is one of my favorites to live by. My lengthy time in the service was because I have a strong sense of duty and selfless service. I’ve always felt that service to others was in my blood, maybe I’m a lightworker…

According to personality tests I am an INFP; roughly 4% of the world’s population fits into this type. Before taking the test I always new I was shy. The military broke me out of my shyness, but I still prefer my introverted inner world to the real world outside. 

I crave knowledge and after I learn what I was after I lose interest and look for the next shiny thing to hold my interest for a short time. I get bored so easily with everything I do and often times don’t finish things I started because of it.

2. Why Am I Here?

I’ve been trying to figure out the answer to this for a while now. I’ve recently been asking myself questions like, “what is my purpose?” And, “why am I even here when I’m so miserable?” Or, “Am I miserable because the Earth is miserable?”

My reason for living/existing is surely more than simply to populate and pass on my genes. If that was my reason for being than I succeeded with my kids, but I don’t believe that is why I’m here in this existence on this planet.

I feel like I am destined to do something, but I still don’t know what it is. I’m hoping my thru-hike can help me answer this question. One thing I do know for sure though is that I want to leave this world a better place than it was for me.

3. What Makes Me Wake Up In The Morning?

Unfortunately the answer required here should be more than, “because my brain and body received the required rest they needed which caused me to regain consciousness.”

I think the appropriate answer should be tied to question #2. I think that once I figure out what my purpose is I will have a good reason to wake every morning.

4. What Do I Want From Life?

I want happiness and to feel like I did something important. I used to think material things were what I wanted, and they do often make me happy, but it is just a short term fix to a deeper problem. I’m slowly getting good rid of “stuff” so I feel lighter.

Serving in the military didn’t really leave me with that happiness feeling while I was in or on the way out. It was simply a means to an end, the pay was decent, most of the time I liked my job, and the benefits for my family were phenomenal.

5. What Do I Expect From Life?

I don’t expect anything at all, my life is simply what I make it. Nobody owes me anything, I make my own path in this world. This actually took a long time to understand. When I was younger I used to think the world owed me something, but it owes nobody anything. In fact we owe the world respect and care so we can leave it a better place than the one we came into.

6. What Pain Do I Want To Sustain?

I’ve already endured so much pain to become my authentic self, although I’m not quite done yet, I will continue to endure. My biggest battle right now is a mental one. I have contemplated ending my life in the past, but I continue to push on so I can one day be happy again.

7. What Am I Giving To The World?

Up to now I haven’t given much, I used to be selfish and thought the world should give to me. Life doesn’t work that way, if you want something, you have to work for it. I want to do some traveling so I can see firsthand the issues in the world that need fixing.

Your Turn

I challenge you to answer these questions yourself. I took about three days to come up with my answers and it was kind of eye opening to me. 

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